To Mend a Broken Heart (TROS fix-it fanfic)
by MissxFaith
Summary: (SPOILERS FOR TROS) If you weren't happy with what happened to Ben in TROS, then this fanfic might be for you. It's gonna be a fix-it fic where Ben doesn't die and instead gets to explore the galaxy with Rey. Not sure how long it'll be, but I'll keep writing if people seem to be interested in it.
1. Before

Seeing Rey's body there, slumped over on the ground, her lifeless eyes open and glazed over, it nearly breaks me.

Why? Why now? Why, after everything? Why did things have to come to this?

I hold her in my arms, as gentle as possible. Her skin is still warm, but her pulse has stilled and her head lolls back when I pull her closer. Those fiery eyes that used to be so full of challenge and power now look dull and glossy.

But I'll be damned, because even in death Rey is still undeniably beautiful. Like a porcelain doll, something perfect and unblemished. Something stronger than what one might at first assume.

Tears prick at my vision, but I blink them back.

Rey is dead.

Rey is dead.

My beautiful Rey is dead.

But maybe I can bring her back. She healed me with the Force, so who's to say that I can't return the favor now?

I focus on our bond. Our Force connection. It's frayed and faint and barely there, but I can still feel it.

Putting all my concentration and effort into bringing that connection closer, I feel myself getting weaker. As our bond brightens, as the warmth of it swells and seems to surround the two of us, as Rey's pulse blinks back into existence, as her eyes come back to life and take in the scene around her, as she takes in a gasp of air and looks at me frantically, as she takes hold of me face and kisses me deeply and with such a fervor that I can barely comprehend it, as all this happens, I can feel my own life-force dwindling.

Still, though, when she says my name—when she calls me Ben—I manage a smile.

Her face, so delicate and open and pure, is the last thing I see before I fall backward. Before my eyes shut and my world is plunged into darkness.


	2. During

I watch as Ben falls. As his eyes close and his head hits the ground. He starts to fade, his body disappearing beneath his clothing.

No, I think to myself.

Hurriedly, I grab ahold of him. I grasp him before he completely fades away. I try with all my might to push some of my life-force into him. I pull at my still weakened body to give some of its energy to him. Perhaps deep down I know how futile my attempt is, but I can't just let him slip between my fingertips like this.

Not when I've just gotten Ben Solo back.

I think of our Force bond as a thread. A thread rapidly unraveling. A thread so worn and pulled taut that it's nearly crumbled apart. I grab that tenuous thread and hang onto it with all the energy I have left—which isn't much.

I just know that I can't give up. I can't just let him slip away from me again.

Try as I might, though, our connection slips further and further out of my grasp. It weakens to a point where I can barely feel it at all. I call on the Force to provide me with some extra strength, but it seems strangely far away—just out of reach.

Maybe... maybe Ben has to die...

I call for Luke, for Leia, for anyone who's willing to listen. I call for countless ancestors I don't even know.

Why won't anyone help?

As a last desperate attempt to save Ben, I urge the very life-force he gifted to me back into him. The effort of trying this might kill me, but there aren't any other options. Well, perhaps there are, but my mind is too frantic and panicked to think of them.

Time is running out. Ben is dying. The one thing I was sure of, the one person I truly felt like I belonged with, is now leaving me. Like my parents, he's been forcefully ripped away from me. Once again I'm being left behind to deal with unbearable tragedy.

Despite these final, desperate efforts, despite the energy I've given him, despite the life-force I've given him, despite all of this, he still fades away. Despite all of this, he still leaves me.

He fades away completely, leaving behind only his clothes.

It's too much for me. I've exerted too much energy. I feel so, so weak. So small. So defeated. I have failed. I have failed him. I have failed myself. I am a failure.

I don't even realize that I'm sobbing. I just collapse on the ground—still tightly clutching Ben's discarded clothing—and let vicious sobs rack my body. I know should leave. I know it's dangerous to stay here any longer. But I just... I don't have the energy left. I just want this all to be over. I can't do it anymore.

Not alone. Not without him.

We were supposed to be together. A dyad in the Force, Palpatine said. This isn't fair.

I cry and cry and cry. I'm not sure how long I'm there on the ground, sobbing. Time seems to move too quickly and too slowly all at once. At some point I realize how exhausted I am. I slowly get to my knees and then try to stand up, but end up just falling back down again.

I can't force my legs to work. I can't make my body move. I just feel so, so weak.

I try once again to get to my feet, but once again I just collapse. My vision starts to blur, and my thoughts feel cloudy. I can feel myself fall face-first into the hard ground. Before I lose consciousness, I swear I hear someone call my name.


	3. After

I did not anticipate this. When everything went dark, when I could feel myself slipping away from reality, I assumed I was dead. I thought I was becoming one with the Force, just like... just like my mother. But something else happened entirely. My body faded, but somehow my soul stayed. Which is odd, since I can't feel the bond I had with Rey. I should be able to, if all I am now is a soul, essentially. But for whatever reason, our Force connection seems to have been severed. This means that currently I'm still in the same room as Rey, but she can neither see me nor communicate with me at all. I just have to stand over her and watch as she sobs. It just about breaks my heart... After some time, she passes out from exhaustion. I'm not exactly sure what to do... or if there even is anything I can do. It seems like I've lost all connection I used to have with the Force, which shouldn't be possible. Maybe I'm stuck in some kind of limbo? Between this universe and the Force? But does that mean I'll be stuck here forever? Am I tied to this place? Or will I just have to walk through the galaxy, unseen and unheard by everyone, for the rest of time? I really hope that isn't the case. I call out to Rey a few times, even though I know she won't be able to hear me. I walk over to her and try to place a hand on her arm, but it goes straight through her. Am I a ghost? Not a Force-ghost, but a regular spirit? How... none of this makes any sense. I try to call out for my mother, or even Luke, but it really seems like the Force has left me. How can this be happening? Wanting to test the ghost theory, I walk across the large expanse that used to be Palpatine's throne room, but now is mostly in ruins. I attempt to touch the far wall, but once again my hand goes through it. Hmm... I walk through the wall, then further on through the rest of the wreckage. I wonder... could I survive in space? Er, well, not survive, I guess... Am I dead? Am I just stuck in-between? Glancing down at the ground, I realize that I'm not actually walking on it. I actually appear to be floating slightly above the ground. Could I fall through the floor, if I were to try and lie down on it? I push these thoughts away for the time being and bring my focus back to Rey. Surely there has to be some way I can get through to her... She's still unconscious when I re-enter the throne room. It looks like she's breathing, though, so I suppose that's one small relief. A part of me wonders, briefly, if she were to die... would she become one with the Force? Would she move on to some other after-life? Would she be trapped like I am? It's dangerous for her to stay here. The place looks like it might all collapse in on itself at any moment. Not to mention the fact that there's still a war going on above us... For the first time in, well, a long time, I hope the Resistance wins. And it looks like they are. Rey's friends are probably fighting out there somewhere. The ex-Storm Trooper and the pilot. Can't say I like them, but for Rey's sake I hope they're okay. It's strange since I'm a spirit now. I can see my arms and legs, but I don't have a corporeal body. By technicality, I suppose I'm naked. From my perspective, though, I can't quite see myself. Aside from my extremities, everything just looks... hazy. I try to catch sight of myself in a reflective piece of metal, but I don't have a reflection anymore. I wonder, if another person could see me, would they see a hazy figure? Or would they see a full apparition, standing naked? I hope not... I might be dead now, but I still have some dignity left. Rey stirs. She rolls over on her side and blinks open her eyes slowly. She looks directly where I'm standing, but sees only the wreckage around her. Gingerly, she gets up to her feet. She brushes off her clothing, puts my discarded clothing in her satchel, and slowly walks out of the throne room, looking dazed and out of it. "Rey," I say quietly, scared both that she won't be able to hear me, and also for the slim chance that she might be able to. I'm not sure which one would be worse. She keeps walking, oblivious to my existence. "Rey," I say again, more loudly this time. Again, she doesn't hear me. "Rey!" I shout, and I start running to catch up with her. This time, she halts her step. She glances back in my direction, puzzled. Her eyes travel past me, but it's clear that she heard my voice. Or... heard something... "Hello?" she says, her voice wavering a little. "Is someone there?" "Rey, it's me," I say, walking—er, floating—toward her. "It's Ben." Her expression turns frightened, as if she's seen a ghost. And perhaps she has. "No, no, no..." she's mumbling under her breath. "I'm not crazy... I'm not..." "Can you hear me?" I ask, taking another tentative step near her. "Can you hear me, Rey?" She starts shaking her head and backing away. "I won't let you..." she whispers, her tone shaky. "You won't haunt me like this..." She turns on her heel and sprints away. I chase after her, but find, much to my dismay, that I can't leave the wreckage. It appears that I am trapped in here. At least for now. I'm forced to stand there and watch as Rey leaves without me. A spark of fear runs through me when I consider the possibility that I'll likely never see her again if I'm trapped in here forever. Which means that I have to do something to get out of here... Hmmm... 


	4. Chapter One

When I was unconscious, I had a dream or vision or... something. I saw Ben, but he looked distorted, hazy. He kept flashing in and out of existence, and it looked like he was saying something, but I couldn't hear any of his words.

In the dream, I walked toward him, thinking that I might be able to hear him if I was closer. But when I got closer, he disappeared. Just like that—into thin air.

It was all so weird. Because of the quality and because of how little sense it made, it was probably just a dream. But I've had visions about him in the past, and some of them have come true...

And then, when I woke up, I could've sworn I heard him call my name. But that's absolutely impossible... right? I didn't see him; I still can't feel our Force bond.

Maybe it's because of how exhausted I am... Maybe I just need to get back to my friends and get some well-deserved rest. Yeah... Yeah, I'm sure that'll help clear my muddled thoughts.

Getting back to my friends might prove to be a challenge, though. It looks like the fighting has finally stopped, but there's no way for me to know if Finn and Poe are okay. I'm also not sure how I'm going to get out of here...

I could take Ben's ship, I suppose. But the Resistance will recognize it as being First Order and might try to shoot me down... I guess I'll just have to try and get on comms and warn someone that I'll be coming back on it, since my options for transport are so limited.

I still feel extremely weak. Maybe Ben gave me the rest of his life-force, but whatever Palpatine took out of me really left a mark. And, in addition to my Force-related injuries, I'm also fairly certain I have a concussion from one of the various times when I fell back in the throne room.

Force healing would be nice right now, but I don't want to take a chance and try to use it. I should probably try to save up my strength for now, just in case I run into any problems when I get back at base.

I don't know what I should tell my friends about what happened here, or if I should tell them anything at all. Maybe, somehow, they've already heard. I just... I myself still can't believe that Ben's actually dead, and I really don't feel like telling Finn and Poe about his death. They tried to be supportive, I suppose, but I know how much they disliked him.

And I don't blame them.

They're probably relieved he's gone, especially Finn...

Speaking of, I wonder what Finn wanted to tell me. I think... I think maybe I know, but a part of me wants to hear it from him. Because if it's what I think it is, I'm sure he's excited about it. And he should be.

Anyways, I need to stop getting stuck in my thoughts like this. I'm just wasting time. Providing that my friends are okay, I'm sure they're worried about me.

Then again, they might be a bit preoccupied, considering what happened to Leia. I felt her leave when Ben died. Unlike him, she became one with the Force. At some point I should probably try to talk to her about him, but I don't think I can handle that right now.

I'm not the greatest at taking things slowly, but I think I finally have to. The gravity of everything that's happened over the past day is catching up with me, and I'm worried of what might happen if I let my thoughts wander off again. I just have to stay focused and get back to base, then I'll deal with everything else.

Including the strange vision and what I could've sworn was Ben's voice calling out to me from beyond the grave...


End file.
